I've started being wary of instant friendships. The kind of friendships you sink into after a great first conversation, where you discover that you like the same books and watch the same movies and laugh at the same things. The second conversation is even better because you think you can really TALK
to this person and you feel you've known them all your life. By the third conversation, you're absolutely confident that you are going to be best friends forever. Now I don't want to make any sweeping generalisations, so I'm just going to say this is a pattern I've noticed in my own life -- such friendships, more often than not, are short-lived. And you'd be surprised how quickly they fizzle out.
I'm a closet extrovert. I like people, contrary to popular belief. I come across as shy and reserved because I automatically clam up when there are more than three people in the room. Even if I'm with a bunch of friends from school, I'm usually the quietest person. I'm just not good with groups, which means I don't have a huge social circle I can go partying with every weekend, but I do have quite a number of people I'm close to individually. Most of them are people I've become friends with gradually. I've taken my time with them. I probably sound like a grandmother here, but I feel you have to grow into friendships in order to make them last. If you just happen to slip into one, then it's easy to slip out as well.
I happened to meet a person very randomly a couple of years ago. We hit it off instantly. Very soon we were pouring out our life's secrets to each other. I had just graduated, and I wasn't really in a hurry to find a job, so my days were pretty much filled with conversations with the New Friend. Then of course, I found a job. Which didn't change anything, really, because even if I'd had an exhausting day at work, I'd still find time to call or at least, send a text. You don't have to spend four hours on the phone everyday to keep in touch with a friend. And then all of a sudden, our conversations started becoming strained and just ... strange. Messages were curt and terse. At first, I thought I was just being paranoid, but then it became more and more obvious that the Person just wasn't interested anymore. And we're talking about a very, very platonic relationship here. Not being someone who lets go of things very easily, least of all friends, I tried my best to be all 'what's up' and 'heyy, what's been happening' every now and then but eventually I had to give up when all I could hear was the sound of my own voice. That friendship, or whatever it was, at least the good part of it, lasted for three months. That's it. What annoys me is that I still think about it, and there are times when I actually miss what I shared with that person. Though he turned out to be completely horrible.
So the moral of today's story is that all worldly ties are evil, and one is better off meditating in the Himalayas. Yes.
(It's the middle of the night, how else do you expect me to conclude this absolutely cringe-worthy post?)
